Thursday, June 30, 2011
I am going to caveat this message with a few warnings: This may be long…this may ramble and this may more than likely make me cry. This is my official thank you. I have so many things to write so many words to put onto this paper and so many emotions to express. To start this composition is quite daunting, more daunting than starting the race, simply because I will be trying to accurately express every bit of gratitude without omission…yet fully aware that I will never be able to get it all out…not in a way that people will know exactly how much they mean to me.
This will be out of order and more than likely meander through tangents. Most may feel it inapplicable but try to stay with me. For those of you mentioned know that this does not scratch the surface for those of you not mentioned your impact has not been any less appreciated.
I started this on June 8th, 2011, 16 days before the race. I knew I would have to start it early because of the amount personal gravity it holds. By the end of this I will have read, re-read, re-written, added, deleted and edited this letter about 100 times. Every time it will mean just as much to me.
I don’t know why you did everything that you did for us. I didn’t have to ask I didn’t have to beg or convince or plead a case, all I had to do was post a status update in face book about needing a drill and the next day you sent us messages telling us they were added to the pile. I don’t know why you blindly supported yet another one of your youngest daughter’s ridiculous ideas. I am beginning to believe, by your unwavering support, that I get these haphazard tendencies from you. The wild burr up my ass to do something huge and unrealistic most likely comes from the fact that I am your daughter…your baby girl. You never asked “why?” you never told me “no you can’t do that…it’s not a good idea” you just said “OK what do you need”. I know you think you weren’t there for me for a lot of my life. I know you think you missed all of the important parts of growing up Katya, but you didn’t you were there for the things that mattered and your still here for the things that mean the most to me. I will always be your baby and you will always be my daddy. I love you dadoo thank you.
You are my best friend and my biggest fan. Ours is the only bridge you have ever re-built. The things we have been through together…my God. We have been through fat and skinny, married and divorced, the dumped and the new loves, Manolo Blahniks and Christian Louboutins. Crossed borders, fallen on trails, inside jokes and pseudo families. We’ve been to war together. You gave me my God son. You know me inside and out. You know all about all of my crazy you are the person to whom I tell everything. You keep me grounded and you enable my addictions. You see the best parts of me and see the things I can’t see myself. You have done this for years without falter or fail without question without doubt. Hell…you’ve done it without every actually talking to me. I don’t know why you picked me but I’m sure glad you did. You have been the crutch I’ve needed to lean on the voice of reason and the spiraling lunatic. You are me and well shit I love me so…Thank you for being my best friend and one of the loves of my life.
Do you even have any idea how amazing you are? You walk around through your daily life as a silent giant. You are already all of the things that you aspire to be and you are only 16 years old. You think you look up to me but I am here to tell you my dear it is quite the opposite. You are the person I want to be when I grow up. You make me want to be a better person. You make me want to do good at all times. You make me feel accountable for my actions and you make me proud of both myself and more so of you. You make me who I am and you do it completely unaware of yourself. I love you mini me. You are the best part of all of us and I’m thankful to be the smallest part of who you are.
Deb & Frank,
I have NO idea why you let your kids hang out with me…I mean really have you seen me drive? Your family is the stuff that books are written about. The cracks and flaws are hidden in the shadows of the internal support and love that you all can’t help but exude. I don’t know why you picked me either…maybe you and Sarah should sit down and figure that out someday. The things you have done for me have been so far above and so far beyond anything that people should do for another person to whom they have no ties…I don’t deserve how good you are to me. There is nothing exceptional about teaching you how to do a hang clean but there are endless numbers of accolades I could sing about the dozens upon dozens of selfless things you have done for me. Coming to pick up my trash when it is piled half way up my barn, taking me in on thanksgiving, driving me home when I realize how stupid it was to ride my bike all the way to your house, standing up for me when no one else wanted to, letting me cry, listening to me yell, lending me your children for manual labor and dog sitting, allowing me to be a part of your family. I love every single one of you Deb, Frank, Alissa, Joe, Zac, Minnet and Ken.
OOOOH guuuurl what have you gotten yourself into. I am not sure if you know this or not but I get attached to people. The people that I choose to force kicking and screaming into my life I choose because they are the people I can most learn from and be influenced by in a positive manor. You unfortunately are one for those people. Sorry you’re stuck with me. I knew it from the second you messaged me and from the first time I talked to you on the phone. You’re quite the accomplished individual and you can see it in the faces of your daughters. You have no limits and you’re a force of nature stuck in a body built to move mountains. A greater haphazard friend I couldn’t ask for and you are in my heart girl whether you like it or not. Love you.
I won’t speak to this one directly, but I felt the need to thank him. I thank him for teaching me how to appreciate great people. I thank him for teaching me to recognize validity in human hearts. I thank him for showing me the things that I do want and bringing to the surface the things that I do not. I thank him for being the vessel that brought her to me.
Where on earth do I start Loo? Our friendship has been quite a journey…a journey that was birthed out of pain…a journey that was birthed out of darkness. We were by definition nemeses. We had NO reason to befriend each other. You had NO reason to create a relationship of ANY kind with me. I represented something in your life that hurt you, something that walled you up, something that tried to break you. I was a constant reminder of things you wanted to forget. We were thrown together by the will of fate. Our first meeting was a blur. I hated that I liked you. I said to you once that once we were both healed then we would be kindred. That happened a long long time ago. You put yourself right in the middle of an emotional fire for a stranger. You talked me through a tough part of my life for NO other reason than you ARE in fact the giving tree. You saw a person sinking...a stranger and you jumped into quicksand to help pull them out. You are selfless you are beautiful you are strong and powerful beyond measure. You are honest you are a force to be reckoned with and I gladly stand beside you and call you my beloved friend…my fellow Glamazon. I would warn whomever you need to warn mama because I have this sneaking suspicion we are just getting started.
I could literally write and write until you have all been so exasperated and I have repeated myself so many times that nothing I say has any meaning. There are so many more people could write about. SO many more people who deserve words…I’m not winning any great award I just feel grateful for everything I have seen…all of the good in all of the people that I know. Karen H. You don’t even know me and look how much you have done for me! Karen M. girl you have NO idea what it means to me to have your constant support. I miss seeing you every day and I’m more than glad we happened to start talking about Tosca Reno that morning in the break room! My mom who probably thinks this was one of the more pointless things I have decided to take on but who by now has learned to silently sigh and let me do what I want. She knows I get my stubborn from her…and yes for all of you who have been wondering…oh she WAY worse than me. Tenacity from my dad stubborn from my mom…good mix huh? Anyways…told you I would digress.
Thank you everyone for everything.